Friday, April 18, 2008

Finally, I look forward to band practices.

Its the trip back home which makes it so special. It is the time when I can be share my feelings. My ups and downs. And most importantly, be myself. No more trying my best to mingle around and squeezing the brain so hard to think of what to talk about till the brain dries up.
Now, it just comes naturally.

Its the journey back home every Wednesday and Friday nights which makes me happy and relieved while enjoying the best company. Friends which I could not yet find in the curriculum.
That is the period which I can finally laugh my hearts out and crap the hell out of my pressured mind.

I will always ride back home with Cheryl, Xiangyun and Farhan.And as of today, we talked about relationships and friendships.The norms of being in a complicated situations related to these things.
Anyway, I realized that someone do care and listen to me with much will. Though Farhan and Xiangyun alighted much earlier, I do know that I enjoyed their company a lot and the conversation we engaged in previously.

Anyhow,
I wish I had Farhan's happy-go-lucky personality.
Not once I seen him sulked. He is always smiling and laughing. How cool is that! I cannot even do it for half a day!
Actually his name explains it all.

Cos simply,
Farhan = Happy (in arabic text)

Surely, Cheryl and me both agreed that we envied his cheery personality. And the two of us wants his cheerful self badly.

I am trying my best to move on. But I could not. And whenever I feel dejected in class. Noone knows cos they do not understand me. Its difficult for me. I am extremely used to having someone being right beside me all the time. A friend who constantly look at me in the eyes. A friend who talks to me all the time. A friend who never fails to liven up my spirits when I'm down. A friend who just understands me.

Eat together. Play together. Study together. Sleep together. Shit together.

Okay. Not to that extent.
Well, you get it don't you?

I am so used to having a best friend that when I'm removed from my comfort zone, I just blank out.

That is how bad it is right now.


For your information, I am not emo. I am merely sharing what I feel. And it just sucks to be in this situation.

I presume Poly students are way more fortunate than JC students. They need not experience what I'm going through. Cos they have enough supply of friends (maybe even excessive at times). And that they have a wide range of people to choose from to be their close friend.
Best thing is, there are tonnes of people taking the same course as you!
Unlike me, the people who are taking the same subjects are near extinction! Including me, three in total.

So currently, I am facing a scarcity of close friends.

Bah. Sucks.

Don't worry. Nazreen is fine.
Words of wisdom is not needed. He is plain tired being stuck in the situation he is under right now.

As long as you manage to read up the whole entry, you are a fantastic and loyal blog reader!
Bravo!

Labels: sianity

8:24 AM

NAZREEN. updated!